When I think of leaning in, I think of listening more intently, trying even harder, paying close attention, and getting more familiar with someone or something. The challenge is to know who or what exactly it is that I should be leaning in to. Is it my family? My church? My job? My friends? Myself? All of them? Mixed signals are so common for me since I struggle with over analyzing most everything. I prayed and asked God to show me a more clear message, but kept getting the sense He was saying, "Just Wait." Well, how can you lean in and wait at the same time? What do you do when you simply don't know what to do?
Now I realize that even when you think it doesn't make sense, it's just because our simple minds cannot possibly understand God. It's not our job to understand Him. It's our job to have faith and believe that He's got it all under control. So I wanted to do just that.
I studied and read. I asked friends and family. I waited for clarity on many situations. There is even a book titled Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg focused on women achieving their ambitions and being successful in the workplace. More power to you if you're climbing the corporate ladder and have been empowered by this book or something similar, but I invite you to see the flip side of that coin as well. There are also many articles with backlash about the book and organization claiming that women are over worked and underpaid (true), all while being required to keep up a household and raise children. I believe that children benefit much more from a parent who is present in their lives vs. one who is working full time. Both sides have great points to consider, but the way I see it is, we women have spent so much time trying to prove to the world that we can do everything men can do, that we've forgotten to focus on the fact that we can do so many things that men can't do! Children need their mothers present in their lives! There is no greater "job" in this world than to raise your children to love God and love others. Spend as much quality time with them as you possibly can. Personally teach them as much as you can before this world tries to take over.
I used to be that woman. The one who wanted it all. I wanted a thriving career, but still be able to attend every play and ballgame. I wanted a huge family, but also a huge business. The one who wanted to be a mentor, but also be able to take time for hobbies and things I enjoy. The one who wanted to participate in teacher appreciation luncheons, but still have time to be a boss lady.... stay in shape, teach a few fitness classes, don't miss the school play, have a stylish wardrobe, wash 4 loads of laundry a day and keep the house clean, have a successful and thriving career, keep my husband happy, throw fabulous dinner parties, donate to charity, make awesome school lunches, go on the field trips, move up the ladder, continue my education, help with homework, run a 5K, make lots of money, have more babies, I mean REALLY?? Why have we convinced ourselves as women that we need all of this or we are not happy/satisfied/fulfilled? Finally, after many years of chasing the unattainable, I have come to a place of peace. The kind of peace that only God can give you.
When He said, "lean in," He meant lean in to HIM, not this world. He showed me my purpose. He showed me what really matters in this life! I am finally ok with not being able to do it all. I no longer even have the desire. I am SO ok with putting my family first and showing them the love of Christ. They get the best of me instead of the rest of me when I'm worn down at the end of a stressful workday. I am SO ok with having a simple, uncomplicated, slow paced life.
In order to lean in to your purpose, you have got to learn to lean out of other things that aren't on the top of your priority list. You've got to learn to say no to certain people, invites, and places. Sure, you will end up losing some things and/or people in the process, but let me tell you, losing them lightens your load! I no longer see it as "losing." I see it as gaining a new perspective. You gain a new sense of freedom when you lighten the load you've been carrying for so long.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30
God never intended for us to be burdened by all of these worries and commitments. He just wants us to love Him and love people. How good of an example do you think it sets for other women when you appear to have it all together, but end up having a nervous breakdown, disrespectful brats for kids, or getting a divorce because you're juggling too many commitments? Lean into Him and His promises. Lean out of the worries of this world.
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